I Am Olivia Pope

When Olivia Pope came into our lives in the smash hit show Scandal, she ushered in a prominent place for Black women on mainstream prime time television. And she upped the anti by melding race, love, politics and scandal. This perfect storm culminated in a drama that leaves us searching for the right words to explain our emotions as we come to grips with the end of this epic series.

Pope, or Liv as she is affectionately known, may be a figment of the ex- traordinary creator and producer Shonda Rhimes’ imagination. But in reality, a part of her lives in every Black woman. Yes, every single one of us. We are intelligent, caretaking, funny, multi-tasking, complex, and sexy—truly as royal of a species as there ever was.

We are the sensational and the scandalous.

We work hard and play hard: The perfect recipe for a fulfilling life. So this is an ode to Black women and how to miraculously juggle self- care, family, and career.

We may not all agree with Liv’s choices, but what she has mastered is living her truth. And in the end, that’s all that matters. Or is it? Does total freedom exist? Can you truly live your life, and do whatever you want without consequence? Of course not. And here is where we ad- dress the biggest scandal of all.

Is Liv a glorified jump-off ?

“How can we applaud a woman who is the president’s mistress? A Black woman at that?” This was the beginning of the conversation about Scandal with one of my more conservative besties who was completely disgusted by Liv. “This is just embarrassing and bringing Black women down.”

I saw every reason for her sentiment. But I was surprised. It was purely entertainment to me. Don’t women of all colors have affairs on screen? Why was it about just painting “us” in a bad light? But then I remembered. Black women are disparagingly underrepresented in Hollywood. So when we appear in a major role, we’d like it be as un- tarnished as possible.

But that’s not real life. What’s real is that being human is complex. And women can be the most complex of them all.

So what’s the verdict?
Short answer: This is TV.
Long answer: Skeletons. We all have them.

When we accept that it is merely human to teeter between weakness and strength, life simply becomes more peaceful. The ups and downs make us whole and give us perspective and insight into our true selves. And that insight brings us balance. But how do we get there? To that mystical happy place where joy is abundant? Maybe, by learn- ing to love everything about us.

Here’s what Liv confirmed.

WE’RE COMPLICATED

Women are multifaceted. And Liv is no different. She was conceived because of three incredible women: Shonda Rhimes, Judy Smith and Kerry Washington. There could be no homage to Liv without ac- knowledging the real-life inspiration for her. So the first bow-down is before Smith, the dynamo crisis manager. She is the inspiration for the fertile imagination of the phenomenal Rhimes. And although she is the dream weaver, Washington breathes life into Liv and has per- fectly captured this gladiator leader for seven nail-biting seasons. We may not be a figment of someone’s imagination. But we are just as complex. And accepting our many faces, moods, and opinions creates a gigantic dose of self-esteem. And that’s the first step to bliss.

BE SELFISH

Self-care is the key to confidence. It’s important to release the stress of your day and toxic energy especially when you have a high profile career, or a large amount of responsibility. There must be an outlet so that you can refresh, regroup and move forward. When Liv slipped into her cashmere sweater and sipped her glass of 1994 Châteauneuf du Pape, nothing else mattered. And all was right with life again. Well, most times. A bubble bath at night and a 10-minute meditation takes the edge off. Or, if you are a therapy kind of person, staying on track with that weekly visit can do the trick. If you’re thinking, “Who has time for a bubble bath?” or, you cringe at the thought of sharing your deeply rooted issues with anyone, you have options. A three-minute shower can be refreshing. And journaling is therapeutic and private. There are also dozens of YouTube motivational speakers and medi- tation Apps and mantras are affective too: I am peaceful. I am con- fident. I am worthy. These positive thoughts calm your spirit for a peaceful night. And rejuvenate your spirit for a new day.

GET YOUR MIND RIGHT

Positive mental health can lead to a stunning outer glow. We tuned in weekly to get that dose of Liv’s mental strength. But what was just as captivating was watching her go through the toughest crises always looking stunningly beautiful and radiant. But let’s keep it real. Off set, all of the make up and beautiful designer clothing in the world can’t cover up or hide distress, anger and pain. Being able to exude light and look radiant all leads back to embracing your truth. So get to the root of what’s blocking your joy, and address it. There is no sense in walking around looking good when you are secretly falling apart. Find peace and this will lead to composure. It all poetically fits together. Getting about eight hours of sleep as well as eating healthy (cut out sugar and processed food) and exercising also contributes to a clear headspace. Don’t be overwhelmed by gym memberships or yoga sessions. If that doesn’t work for you, take a long walk. And a brisk walk or a jog in the park or around your neigh- borhood may fit conveniently into your schedule.

LEAP & SOAR

Be bold and take risks. Having a fulfilling life and achieving your goals requires risks. There’s no way around it. Playing small does not lead to huge rewards. So once you com- mit to a career change, a relationship, a viewpoint or even a shift in attitude, be all in. This includes expressing your feelings and being honest. We tend to hold things back, or sugarcoat them. Not Liv’s style at all. She was never one to hold her tongue or pull punches. That behavior only leads to stress and disease. We must release our truth. And most importantly, be unapologetic about it. She defined her freedom by loving a married man, loving a White man, and not caring what anyone thought. She wasn’t concerned with societal norms for the sake of living her truth. If you’re concerned that your hon- esty might hurt someone’s feelings, or be offensive, try taking a deep breath and always preface what you are saying with a cushion like: “I’d like to be honest because I care about our relationship.” Or “This is not easy for me to say but it’s important for both of us to hear it.” It’s all in your delivery. Be kind and be careful about your tone. All else will fall into place.

BE PICKY

Your circle indicates how high you rise. Or how hard you fall. So be selective with your time and space. The gladiators would literally ride or die for Liv. And she’d do the same for them. Relationships come and go. We constantly meet people. But your tight knit crew is a whole other thing. When it comes to discussing your business, sharing a secret or needing advice about an intimate situation, sometimes your choices hinge on another person’s opinions. So you want that person to be solid, and to share the same values that you do. Surround yourself with people who uplift you and always want to see you win. Laughing and having a good time with your friends is a must. These friends should be just as interested in the high times as the low times. People who are in close proximity and have access to you should always be a reflection that you can live with and learn from. Or a person whose character you admire.

BALANCE

If there is one thing that Black women cling to, it is being a workaholic. Whether it’s our family or our boss, we lose ourselves in work, work, work. There’s no way around it. We have to make time and space to breath. It doesn’t have to be a week long vacation. It can be five minutes alone with your cup of tea, a spa day, or even a lunch date with a co-worker that you like. Everyone is searching for the answer to one of the most sought after goals: “How does a woman balance career and family?” I have it. You can’t. And neither could Liv. One will always trump the other. There will always be a time when it feels like you are giving one side more attention than the other. And that’s ok. The key is to be present in whatever situation you are in. If you’re at work, give it all of your at- tention. Focus exclusively on the project at hand. And if you’re with family give them all you’ve got for the time that you have together. They want your undivided attention. Not two word responses between smartphone emails. If you have to work late and can’t see your family all week make it up to them on the weekend or plan a long vacation and be present when you’re there.

EVOLVE

Ultimately, it’s all about the higher self. Comfortable or not, everyone and everything is always moving ahead. And we are demanding a seat at the table. It’s not enough just to get a college or graduate degree. That will not last a lifetime. Try something new. Stay on top of your career, or change it. Take that extra course or attend that annual conference. Attend yoga retreats. Run marathons. Travel the world. Reach for self-actualization, a life with purpose. A colleague once said, “I know that we are not here to just get up and go to a job everyday. And that’s it.” She’s right. Just existing isn’t an option. Our lives are expansive. Sure Scandal is just a show. Mere entertainment. Actually, damn good enter- tainment. But whether we are dealing with fact or fiction: both teach us lessons. And in Rhimes’ last bit of genius, Liv will surely evolve even if it’s solely in our imaginations. And there’s no doubt that Black women will too.